WRITTEN BY: Mark Lamprell, Joanna Weinberg
DIRECTED BY: Mark Lamprell
STARRING: Laura Michelle Kelly, Ronan Keating, Magda Szubanski
RATING: 1 star

Australia usually does well with comedies, but not this time. In fact, I think Goddess is an embarrassment to Australian cinema. The plot is thin, the acting is average, the moral of the story is woeful (how dare anyone try to tell women how they must live their lives) and the dialogue is terrible. I'm not sure why every man in this film was so smitten with the female protagonist either. Perhaps it worked better on stage, but as a film, Goddess was a complete failure.

Elspeth Dickens (Laura Michelle Kelly) is a stay-at-home mum of twin boys while her husband James (Ronan Keating) follows his dream of saving whales. But Elspeth struggles with the isolation and pressure of caring for her children mostly alone. James gives Elspeth a webcam so they can keep in touch more when he is away but he remains out of range. Instead, Elspeth sets up the webcam in her kitchen and starts to sing her so-called “sink songs” to the world. When advertising boss Cassandra Wolfe (Magda Szubanski) learns about Elspeth, she decides to make her an offer she can't refuse, even if it means sacrificing family commitments.

If I can say one good thing about this film, it's the singing. Kelly has a great voice but the theatre actress needs to tone down her facial expressions for film. Keating was doing well through most of the film until they gave him a song to sing on a ship. He can sing just fine, but I'm not sure why the film started to look like a lame Ronan Keating/Boyzone music clip. Corinne Grant and Pia Miranda have small, unimpressive roles, which is a shame because they can both do so much more. Szubanski also seems only interested in being there to claim her next pay cheque.

The cinematography is also terrible. Clearly there were budget constraints, but some of the imagery looked too fake. Modern audiences expect so much more visually. It left Goddess looking like a midday movie from the 1990s.